feels funky

Well I thought it'd be nice for me to try and process my feelings today.  So, how do I feel about this?  Well this is the run down.  Yesterday I talked to my prison love ministry on the phone.  I told him that my therapist said that there are holes in his story about why I can't visit him.  That took our conversation in the wrong direction and my feelings ended up being hurt.  I agreed not to share my negative feelings anymore because I don't want to add stress to his already stressful life.  So, I have been harboring this kinda uneasy feeling.  I can't exactly gage what I am feeling but whatever it is it is definitely not good.  The way I interpreted his response was like this BITCH I don't trust you and I am not sure that I even want to be with you so HELL NO you can't come visit with my family.  I don't even want my family to know you exist.  I am keeping you a secret.  what he actually said sounded more like this I can't let "just anybody" close to me/visit with me and my family.  Just anybody?  So I am just a any ole body?  WOW, that kinda hurts me.  Can't share what I feel with him though because he already has enough to worry about.  I told him that I only want to be a positive entity in his life...I don't want to be a source of stress for him but where does that leave me (feelings wise). He says things that hurt my feelings and I don't get to defend myself because I am in the selfless relationship.  Hopefully at some point I don't get really frustrated and just get selfish on that ass.  It is hard because I usually am selfish about taking care of me and my feelings.  This time (I guess) I am trying something new.  He says that he does not want to hurt me and if he thought he was hurting me he would remove himself from the equation.  I don't want that.  He asked me to think about if I really like drama.  As far as I know I do not like drama.  I don't like to bicker and have constant disagreements but I also don't want to be no fool and just let him talk to me and treat me any ole kinda way.  Usually, this is the time when I get ghost.  I feel something weird...can't quite identify what it is but I know it feels funky so I kick the suckas to the curb and don't look back.  Why am I not doing that here?  I really don't know.  The reason is totally selfless because I clearly am not getting all that I need out of this relationship. In fact I get let down on a regular basis.  I am making myself sad and I feel like crying and that is not good.  It is not my idea of a healthy relationship.  Speaking of healthy relationships.  He says that he wants a healthy relationship with me and that is what he is trying to develop.  I don't know it just feels funky.  When I was barely interested in him he was convincing me to choose him and now that I have chosen him he decided that he does not know if he wants me anymore.  That is nerve racking.  It makes me feel like this is a game to him.  He said that things were going too fast and we needed to slow things down.  Now, do I respect that and just wait, risking that he won't want me in the end or do I leave now while I am ahead.  I am afraid!  Whats a girl to do?