05/27/10

I am sittin here all alone at the Cheesecake Factory, enjoying a drink and orderin take out cheesecake for the house! I'm watchin all these priviledged folk all around me with their expensive shoes and hand bags. Sickening! I wanna just rob them and take their bag of riches... To bad that's irrational. So I'll just sit here in my rags and dream about having riches. This is why I'm so sad all the time! Wishin for the life I never had. The one where I can afford to live it up (at least comfortably). Is that so bad? To wish for comfortable living? I mean really! Cuz the pay check to pay check thing is played! Hell I'm 33. Things should be stable now right? Guess not...
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Birthday celebrations

Three diff days celebrating my B-day all month!!! Happy B-day 2 me.
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IMG00034-20100524-1317.jpg

I cut my hair and I am mad about it!!! I started out trying to trim off some of the last of the loc extensions on my ends but I ended up A LITTLE scissor haPpy. Now I can't do my cute basket weaves anymore. I got to search you tube for some cute short styles. Hope it grows quick! And this time when it grows it will be all me!!! Yeppie!
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05/25/10

Do I love myself yet? NO. Did I fall in love with him yet? Uh NO!

Today I did not find the self love I've been searchin for. Instead I just become really conscious of the fact that I LOVE to eat but I HATE getting fat. FAT fatter and fatter is all I see. Makes me hate me and keeps me stuck in feeling unlovable or unworthy of love. I look at myself and then I think, who would want to be with me. I think about all my realities and I say "even I wouldn't want to marry me". Sad, absolutely no self love. But I love me some food. Lol. I hate me and I hate my life! Wanna trade? So, as far as love with "him". "He" is cute but "he" won't like me after he figures me out. Once he discovers my pitifulness! Some people are born wit a happy gene and some people are not. I was not. I think he was. He's one of those people who never get down and out. He says "everyday is a good day...". I say BULLSHIT. Every dam day is not good just cause I'm alive. REALLY? No, not really for me. Pretty face wit a "Beautiful Mind" (crazy mind) like the movie!!! What's a pretty face if its just a mask for ugliness and pain?
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Rainbow

The other day 04/29 I Saw the brightest prettiest rainbow ever. Here it is.
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