FEELINGS: Today I have been feeling a lot of physical pain. I have no idea why I am always in pain and I looked at the labs today and they were all normal. Not that I want to be sick but I really do wish I knew what was wrong so that I can treat it some kind of way. if I don't know what is wrong I can't fix it (right?). Anywho, emotionally, i have been pretty distracted by all the physical pain. It is all in my joints, my legs where they meet my hips and my right arm from the finger tips to the should joint, all day, intermittently. so saddening.
GOALS: My goals for this week are to better get in touch with how to manage my emotions and get ready to be back at work. To accomplish that I stated that I'd... G1) complete a mood log 1x per day this week and G2)practice affirmations 1x per day this week. G3) I want to compliment @least 1 man this week and G4)work out for 45min @ least 3x this week. G1 I missed on yesterday but I did one today because thee was a CBT group today and we completed one during the group. I have to work on this. G2 I practiced the affirmations that i picked out 3 times yesterday and @ times today. I plan to read it one more time before bed!
My AFFIRMATIONS: http://www.sucessconciousness.com
1) everything is getting better every day.
2) I have a wonderful and satisfying job.
3) I radiate love and happiness.
4) my body is healthy and functioning in a very good way.
5) my thoughts are under my control.
6) happy thoughts attract happy people.
7) nurturing a feeling of success attracts into your life.
8) the image you have of yourself is responsible for the way people see and treat you.
9) Success is flowing into my life.
10) every time I inhale, I fill myself with energy of prosperity.
11) many money channels are opening for me.
G3 I could not complete because I did not see any guys to compliment... then again that may be a lie. I did not notice any guys... I will try harder tomorrow even if it's complimenting a ugly fella on his cologne or outfit or a old guy in my group or something. Last but not least, G4, I took Zumba yesterday for one hour and it was really hard! i am sooo out of shape it is not even funny. Work in progress but it is a REAL trauma!
COPING SKILLS: I can't recall my thought stopping. It is so hard to stop thoughts in real time. Maybe that is why I need to complete the mood log to practice noticing my negative thoughts in real time. Major challenge!!! The only time I really trip is when it's too late and the thoughts have already became emotionally painful and hurtful. I need major work on my "catch it, check it, and Change it" skills. if a female can't catch it... how am I going to create this detour sign in my mind? Right! not likely. Affirmations are going okay. I been reciting them aloud trying to pep myself up. UHH, don't know how that's going... don't feel anything different yet...LOL. I will try to visualize myself success tonight before i go to bed.
SUMMARY: So I guess overall the day went okay. I am on a count down to return to work status and boy oh boy am I nerved up bout that! My son was sick with allergies today and he had to come home sick. I am feeling really bad for my kid suffering so bad during allergy season.
I am bummed about the lab test results and not knowing why my body hurts all the time...
I was rockin these stinky mildew boots.. the only boots I managed to salvage from the fire. I thought, if I can smell them myself while sitting in a classroom...I know others can smell them. I only hope the odor is not offensive to others.
um, now my mom is calling, my nephew got expelled or suspended today for doing something inappropriate with his private part or a little girls...IDK let me see what she will burden my already damaged heart with today... and I allow this, what a co-dependent... Bye now blogworld
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