Today I did not find the self love I've been searchin for. Instead I just become really conscious of the fact that I LOVE to eat but I HATE getting fat. FAT fatter and fatter is all I see. Makes me hate me and keeps me stuck in feeling unlovable or unworthy of love. I look at myself and then I think, who would want to be with me. I think about all my realities and I say "even I wouldn't want to marry me". Sad, absolutely no self love. But I love me some food. Lol. I hate me and I hate my life! Wanna trade? So, as far as love with "him". "He" is cute but "he" won't like me after he figures me out. Once he discovers my pitifulness! Some people are born wit a happy gene and some people are not. I was not. I think he was. He's one of those people who never get down and out. He says "everyday is a good day...". I say BULLSHIT. Every dam day is not good just cause I'm alive. REALLY? No, not really for me. Pretty face wit a "Beautiful Mind" (crazy mind) like the movie!!! What's a pretty face if its just a mask for ugliness and pain?
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